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Sex life during pregnancy… It is one of the most confusing and perhaps most avoided topics. Let’s put aside medical terms and doctor’s advice for a moment today and have a “heart-to-heart.”

If there is a risky situation forbidden by your doctor (bleeding area, risk of miscarriage, etc.), the subject is already closed. The priority is always the health of the mother and the baby. But what if everything is going well? What if your doctor said, “There are no restrictions, carry on with your life”? That’s when the real confusion begins in our heads.

Desire is There, But Action is Missing: “I Don’t Want Him to See Me Like This”

Honestly, driven by hormones, there were times during my pregnancy when I really wanted to have sex. While my libido was hitting the roof, there was only one thing stopping me: My reflection in the mirror.

I felt so unattractive that I didn’t even feel like getting close to my husband. A huge belly, swollen feet, a changing body shape… I couldn’t help but think, “I don’t want my husband to see me this clumsy and heavy.” My self-confidence was so low that sometimes I tried to suck in my stomach or hide even when I was fully dressed walking past him.

The Mood Killers: Physical Realities

Let’s say you regained your confidence and the moment arrived. This time, the “magical” (!) side effects of pregnancy kick in:

• Getting out of breath like a granny with the slightest effort,
• That famous heartburn just when you are focused,
• And of course, the never-ending urge to pee!

How possible is it to focus on romance when you constantly feel, “Do I need to go to the bathroom?”

Unspoken Anxieties: Hygiene and Discharge

I know no one says this out loud, but many pregnant women experience this. I had a discharge problem that I couldn’t solve throughout my pregnancy. Even though I used suppositories under doctor supervision, the effect only lasted a few days.

This was always a question mark in my head: “Will this be uncomfortable or off-putting?” Add to this the increased sweating and sensitivity to odors due to weight gain and hormones, and you inevitably pull yourself back. Honestly, just thinking about these things made me stop myself, even in moments when I felt that intense desire.

Especially in the last trimester, I think I only spent about 10 days in total where I could let go of these worries and allow myself to just be. On the other days, even if the desire was there, the “what ifs” in my head won.

How About You?

My experience was a process of low self-confidence and physical anxieties despite high desire. So, how are you managing this process?

• Has your sexual desire increased or decreased?
• Do you also carry the worry that “My husband won’t find me attractive like this” just like me?

Let’s meet in the comments, because I am sure I am not the only one feeling this way!

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